hiya, i did it! i beat the monster!!! yesterday i had my check up mammo and ultrasound and blood tests and all was clear!!! the cancer has gone! left the building!!!! i am so happy! it's a huge weight off my shoulders, an enormous relief! i am still trying to get my head around it to be honest, i feel kind of numb, don't fully grasp it yet.
i can feel the tension that has been building op these last 11 months, now that i don't need to fight and be strong i can feel how tired i really am. i could just crawl up in a little ball and sleep for a few weeks but no! last night i celebrated with pink champagne!!!
today i made my first appointment with the plastic surgeon, doesn't sound like a big deal but trust me it is! my heart was pounding like mad while i was on the phone!!! 13 February 2012 i will see him, yeah, long wait but it's okay, i need the time to get myself mentally ready for this next step. in the meantime i need to get some strength back so as from next week i'll go swimming once a week with a friend, start small and build myself back up, pick up the pieces.
it is really strange, like standing at an intersection and not knowing which way to go, kind of not knowing where my place is in this universe. i'm not exactly the person is was before...
i have an appointment with my psychologist this coming Tuesday, he will help me clear things up lol!
I think i'm just going to enjoy life for a while, not worry too much about the future, just enjoy now.
love & peace