Breathing again

a few days ago Patty aka Eclectic Archivist sent me a mail saying that when i come up for air there was an award waiting for me on her blog... this made me smile... kind of gave me a reason to blog again... good one Patty! :)

The award comes with rules...of course:

1 Thank the person who gave you the award... Thank you Patty!

2 Copy the logo and place it in your blog. (see the logo above :)

3 Link the person who nominated you. ( linked in first sentence of this post)

4 Name 7 things about yourself that no one would really know.

5 Nominate 7 "Kreative Bloggers".

6 Post links to the 7 blogs you nominate7 Leave a comment on each of the blogs letting them know your nominated them.

so.... 7 things about myself no one would really know huh?

1 i can't whistle, i just cannot produce any sound when i try! it is so funny!

2 my students called me the Grammar dragon behind my back ( i taught English for many years)

4 i would love to speak perfect French and Spanish

5 as a young girl is was a really good gymnastic

6 i am a huge METALLICA fan wohoo nothing else matters...

7 i adore strawberries and raspberries....mmmmmm delish!

okay seven things about me you may or may not know or even want to know lol but there they are.

now to name others to do some sharing!

Kate http://thekathrynwheel.blogspot.com/

Sue http://desiretoinspire-suec.blogspot.com/

Michelle http://michellereneebernard.blogspot.com/

Aimee http://aimeeinohio.blogspot.com/

Lynda http://butterflydream27.blogspot.com/

okay that is only 5! i like to cheat sometimes lol

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so what have i been up to??? well first of all, the whole ordeal with my mother's death, especially the family issues that came with it, it all took so much of me that i could no longer put up with the pain in my leg and foot so i finally went to doc to get pain relief! not an easy deal with Suddeck so for the last four weeks i have been following a plan of morfine patches and neurontin, dose gets higher every two days. pain is less, not gone, in no way gone but the edge is off it so i seem to be a little more mobile, ont he other hand the meds are doing my head in! they really take getting used to! i can cycle a little on the home trainer! i'm proud of that!

i have been drawing and painting, i haven't got everything on photo but this one is my latest, i put her on my facebook and have recieved some really lovely comments. thank you!

to think that a year ago i took my first class with Suzi Blu! i had enroled in her Petit Doll class just before i went to Ranger U, i had never drawn a face before in my entire life, as a mixed media artist i had no need to, for scrapbooking neither, so it was purely to challenge myself and to get my mind off the pain in my foot ( i had just had the surgery then) i never, in a million years, thought i even had it in me! and today i can say i am really happy with my faces.

and as a Ranger addict of course i use all things Ranger in my paintings: paint is mostly CH studio paints mixed with Golden glaze, i also use Adirondack Dimensional pearls mixed with CH, water, perfect pearls. stamps are Tim's! inks are all Ranger, Grungeboard is uhhhhh.... Tim's! isn't it great how you can use all the wonderful Ranger goodies in Mixed Media paintings?? i love it!

catch you all again soon!

(not checked for typos! you know me!)

xxxx love!

art is healing

My mother passed away yesterday.

a short and hard statement and the reality of life and death.

her suffering has come to an end and for that i am relieved for her

my dreams of ever having a mum have passed away along with her.

where does that leave me? i really do not know at this point in time.

and the totally sad thing is that the family is so divided by all this, my eldest brother is not coping with the way i am coping with it, my second brother showed up after 17 years of not knowing where he was an expected way too much of me, my youngest brother seems to be the wisest of the three of them and can at least talk calmly and with thought. i guess grief does weird things to people so i am trying my best not to take offence and to understand that they are simply not being themselves.

it is making the whole ordeal very stressful and more painful than it already is.

you know what? you get to know who your true friends are in times like these and that is heart warming and helps more than i will ever be able to put into words.

but i breathe, i look at my kids and i breathe, my Estée came into the kitchen this evening, i was peeling potatoes for dinner, she stood there blinking her eyes at me and i asked what she was doing, i am showing you my love she said! ohhhh do i even have to tell you that i had to fight back tears??? i am so glad to be a mum! makes me even sadder that my mother never took that opportunity, such a waste. but okay, it is past, tanya it is past!

yesterday my two youngest kids ran the cross country school run,

i am not saying they won prizes but i was proud of their effort and everyone got a medal and my little girl was over the moon with hers! and of course she was not going to run in a plain white t-shirt! tssss what was i thinking! pink necklace and purple top made it a stylish event.

i realize just how blessed i am in this life even though i did not have the conventional youth growing up with a mum and dad, happy family and all that... i still am a whole person and i am happy with who i am and i do not care if there are some people (family) who would like to see me be different and more like them.

i am me and i am proud of that, i have kind of realized that in this whole ordeal.

i am a true believer of every cloud having a silver lining and here my youngest brother has turned out to be the silver lining! so little bro, if you read this, know that i appreciate all your kind words and the respect you have shown me and know that the feeling is mutual!

art... i have been drawing, here is just one of my girls, the background is not finished but there is no rush; her face is far from symmetrical but you know what? i like her, she has wisdom to her

wishing you all a lovely weekend, enjoy your family and loved ones

love is life!!! xxxx

i know it's been a while

oh i have been a bad blogger but life has been keeping me busy.

Summer came and went in a flash, the kids have been back to school two weeks already, we are still getting used to the early mornings and catching the schoolbus on time.

Estée is now in school and no longer in kindergarden, so that means homework! and she takes it seriously, so cute, learning to read and write and she is already so good at it.

smart girl my little six year old, the youngest, in school, time kind of flies.

and not only when you are having fun i have found out.

my mother has Alzheimers, she is 59 and has been ill for a long time now, i haven't followed it from close, we hadn't really spoken in years and before that we never had a real connection, i grew up in England with my dad and only got to know my mother as a teenager, it was too late to connect.

she is in the final stage and it is so sad to witness this degrading illness taking away who she was. Her partner in life is a real saint, he has been taking care for her through out the whole thing, i hope she realized how lucky she was with him.
it sounds hard but i never actually had a mum but now i know i never will have one, no more chances.

all i can do is forgive her and wish her a safe journey. and i have done just that. what else is there? i hope she has peace with herself, that her soul has learned in this life.

i used to think i was superwoman but now i admit to being a little tired. the whole ordeal with my daughter, the Sudeck in my foot, my divorce and now my mother, it seems to be too much to handle in one little year.

but i am who i am and i get through things, i always do... so i will this time too!

i am lucky to be able to ventilate in my art, i still draw every evening and i still paint and i write and it all helps me to stay sane. i am lucky to have friends to talk to when i need to.

so as you see life has been throwing lemons at me, just a matter of figuring out how to make the lemonade.

you all bear with me i will have some art to show for all this once i get through it.

thanks for stopping by, have a great day and take care

love, t

A Thousand Splendid Suns

A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini was the inspiration for this painting

painting Goddesses

some pics of what i have been up to in Suzi's goddess & poet class

of course most of the products used are Ranger but i am loving the golden fluid Acrylics too!

see i can post twice in one week! lol

long time no see

oh dear i have been a bad blogger!!!
and i have been recieving emails about this... sorry that i was worrying some of you!

i am fine! nothing major going on really, still at the therapist with the stupid foot that has bene giving me a bit more grief due to the warm weather and me maybe walking around on it a little too much! i admit! so i am on crutch most of the time.

what have i ben up to? well still drawing faces in the portrait class, i am way behind on all the wonderful mixed media Suzi is showing us but at least i am drawing pretty noses and full lips lil

a few friends came o play last week, we made exploding boxes, nohing too difficult to ensure us enough talking and laughing time, we had a good day and will repeat it again in two weeks time

while the kids were at their dad i had e few eveings of fun and mojitos at the street festival in Gent, no more mojitos for me! let me tell you!
i had a few evenings out with friends, a shopping trip to antwerp with my friend MP.
i've been reading lots, going to the film,taking the kids to playgrounds and theme parks, lots of swimming for my foot,going out for dinner, not much home cooking been going on around here, been to the hairdresser, went on a date (no details however lol except that i am so not ready to go on dates lol)... all fun things but not really much to blog about you must agree :)

mind you i have been productive too! i finished a magazine article on Ranger's Utee, i am also preping for September and October, not all lazy bones!!

so as you see my lovely followers, i have been up to loads of non-blogable things lol

hope you are all fine! i really must admit at the same time that i have not looked at any blogs this last month so if i have not responded to things do not take it personally! i have not been at my computer much, that is the only reason, i know i have probably missed much but that is how it is.

have a great weekend and i hope to hear you all soon, well att least at the end of the Summer haha!

thanks to all you wonderful chicks mailing me! soooo sweeeeeet! xxxxx big hugs and kisses ladies

love! tanya ( not checked for typos lol!)

checking in

oh dear i haven't really taken time to blog! and i recieved a lovely award from Sanda but still need to put it on here and choose some wonderful blogs to pass it on to, but not today, i am so tired :)

The kids are home for the holidays so i'm spending lots of time with them, making art at night most of the time but missing out on a bit of sleep lol

i painted this Queen yesterday and sat up till late embossing her dress and crown from Ten seconds Studio metal, i love that stuff, i used Claudine Hellmuth paints and Tim's stamps for the background and then added Grungeboard wings.

voila! my shortest post ever! and now i might take a little cat nap ... lol

have a great week!!!! do some fun things!!! ( you now know i probably won't be blogging till next week haha!)

xox