i'm back from the UK

hi everyone,

i've been away for a few days. i left home on thursday heading for the UK. first i went to see my dad who is extremely ill in hospital but still stuborn as ever! he is on kidney dialysis every other day cos he has kidney failure, he needs a heart bypass asap, his liver is not doing well and he had fybrosis and asbestos on his lungs which is really bad and pobably causing all the other problems. He is on a stict diet that he tries to get out of any chance he gets, rebelling with the nurses over a bit of cheddar cheese!!! oh i could go on about this but i choose not to. he has been ill for a while, we never thought he would come his far as it is and we have no idea where this is leading so my brother and i kind of look at it on a day by day basis. the fybrosis is the worst, no real treatment as of yet! we are looking at another two to three years at the most in usual cases, lets hope my dad will be with the lukcy few who live upto ten more years but i think with his kidneys we can't have false hope. i am so not at peace with this but it is not in my hands is it, i have to let it go and just be thankful for the time there is i suppose.

strangely though, my nana who had three strokes just weeks ago and who is way into her 80's seems to be doing fine, she is eating again, seems happy enough and to be getting stronger again, humans are the strangest things if you ask me. she is really dement but still seems to have a strong will te live bless her! we thought we were in for a funeral any day. let's hope she last for as long as she wants!!! as long as she feels happy!!!!

so the rest of my time was for fun, for me! i went to Olney, near Milton keynes to go visit Lin Brown, she has an amazing range of products in her shop but i totally fell for all the Ten seconds metal!! i bought metal, tools, mats, moulds,... the whole lot to get me started! she has so many beautiful projects all around the shop, all metal and mixed media, really lovely! and it was great seeing her agin too, we had a coffee and a chat in the shop seeing she was on her own that day.

oh and i did treat myself to some Tim Holtz stamps aswell, couldn't resist!!! :-)

i had the most wonderful weather too, not the rain that was forcasted! lucky lucky me!

i had lunch at a really tiny old tea shop in olney, proper english tea and a cheddar cheese sandwich cut into neat little triangles, just as i like them. i felt so spoiled actually. had a chat with a local floral artist, exchanged thoughts on things, it was so nice.

then i headed off to Oxford to meet my friend J who is still there finishing his pilot training. we had the most amazing time together, chatting and catching up for all the time apart. it is truly a wonderful thing to have this person as my friend. he is the most beautiful friend one could dream for. i know i'm blessed. i know some people would not understand and that is okay.

we went shopping for books, found none we were looking for and we both had lists haha! but i did end up buying five books so i was still pretty pleased. Oxord is a nice city! not one for parking though, omg!!! we had meals that i never ate cos my stomach wouldn't let me, so i hardly ate all weekend really, wonder if it shows on the scales hihi!? J ate most of my food so it didn't go to waste. and the lovely lady at the B&B made sure i had some toast and a boiled egg in the morning to keep me going, she was really worried about me not feeling well, so sweet. i had to take fruit with me for my travel home.

J and i had a blast the whole time we were together, nice! so nice.

Saying Goodbye to eachother was the hardest thing, the hardest thing...i never imagined it cos it is not like we are not seeing eachother again... it was really wierd. so not me, normally i am okay with goodbyes especially when i know it is not a last.

Sunday morning i decided to head off early for Dover cos there was the London Marathon going on and i wasn't sure what the traffic was going to be like. as i left i sent a text message to J to let him know i was on my way. as i came on to the main street he was standing there, he had calculated me leaving early and was waiting for a last goodbye! i mean, how sweet is that?!!!

he had felt that the goodbye we had was difficult. we had loads more hugs in us and still a million things to say and then J took the one picture we took all weekend, not the best picture, i look pretty funny in it but it is great if you ask me! the best! and look at the fab blue sky behind us! it was wonderful.

this good bye made it much easier for me to travel home, it was what we needed apparently and trust J to know that. and thank goodness for free wi fi on the ferry!!! we chatted the whole two hours i was on so that passed in a flash!

well, all things considered with my dad and so on i had the most wonderful weekend and let things go while i could. once back home i started phoning again of course to find out what was going on with the heart operation and all that.

i picked the kiddies up from there dad's and still had a two-hour drive ahead of me to get home so we arrived home at about 8 pm, long day but i enjoyed every minute of it! the drive down to dover is so beautiful, the road is up so high it sometimes feels you can touch the sky and i love skies. i felt my lungs filling with air and joy with every mile i drove. Friendship and Love filling my Soul, realizing that i am the luckiest person on earth.

so today i end with: take care of your friends and loved ones, don't assume they just know you love them, show them whenever you can and cherish time together! it fills you with energy and bliss beyond words. and miracles such as my beautiful nana is showing me can happen! i can't help but love life.

have a wonderful sunshiny day!!!

xox tanya