yes! my final divorce papers came through the post today! i am most certainly, officially, totally, truly, entirely,unmistakenly divorced! and i am doing a happy crazy relief dance let me tell you!
doesn't mean i have not been sad about my marriage ending, don't get me wrong! i would have loved for it to work out; but i don't see it a failure either. it is what it is...
we tried, things didn't add up, we were not happy together we decided to split and tried to keep it as neat as possible. okay of course there are nasty details there but they are all far gone for me, no use on dwelling on them, shit happened... i got over it!
i see it as: we were two people who once made the free choice of being together and then later on made the new decision to end it and move on, no more no less.
but i am happy it is all over, the whole journey of going through court.
i didn't take a lawyer, thought i was quite capable of talking for myself, i was pretty proud of myself to tell you the truth! i did well, it was a lesson and a new thing learned for me. i am way stronger that i look! i like this. i really am stronger than i would have ever imagined. a wisdom i am happy with.
i count my blessing believe you me! i have a wonderful life, not always the easiest, never has been, but wonderful non the less!
i never seem to take the straight road, i tend to choose the one less travelled, the senic route even though it has given me some nasty scenes...i know the good comes with some bad and it is all part of life's lessons we all need to learn so i have don't get upset about things as much as i used to;
take my 16 year old daughter who ran away from home in February, she is now living with her dad, miles away, i have only heard her a few times on msn, just quickly, how are you? and i have always started the conversation; but it does not upset me anymore, i do not take it personally , i have learned that it has nothing to do with me, she is acting from her own idea, even her own idea of me, of the way she sees me, how she sees her life, the whole world. i do not take it personally.
the fact that my marriage ended, i do not take that personally either. i started off by thinking something must be wrong with me but now i realize (and i do have this one friend who tends to open my eyes or helps me open my eyes rather, thanks J) i realize that it has nothing to do with me personally.
so, well, anyway, today the sun is shining at her best and i'm certain it is supposed to be like that today, it is my day! every day is my day come to think of it!
before i go off to enjoy my day i would just like to recommend a book to you all out there, i was happy someone recommended it to me...
this book: The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
have a beautiful day!
*still doing a crazy happy dance*
20 hours ago