Ranger educator

Monday 14 February 2011

fingers crossed

i'm keeping my fingers crossed, if all goes well i may be going home today!!
Nine days in hospital is more than i can take! i soooo want to go home to my kids.
It has been a rollercoaster ride!
in the meantime my hair dropped out, hair everywhere, evenhough it was shaved short it still was everywhere and i hurt like hell, for one night it was like my head was on fire, i sat with ice packs on my head for hours to ease the pain! not all of it dropped out but most of it so i had to have it shaved bald and it really takes some getting used to, some of my friends say it suits me, that i can pull it off and i must say i do have a pretty skull lol! as for as pretty goes for skulls that is :)

anyway, hopefully i can go home today and i can say bye to the staff, except for the food here i cannot complain! the staff have been WONDERFUL! most of them remember me from my back surgery and that helps but honestly they have been great, so helpful and kind, understaffed or not they are a super bunch!!

Friday chemo 2 of 6 and let's hope i don't go as deep this time! i don' think i will, i think they know now which meds to give me to make it easier and i am definetly getting the Neulasta injections for my white blood cells, now that i have medical indication to recieve them the inssurance will automatically pay for them, they are expensive, over a 1000 euro each time and i will get them for every chemo.

okay, off to watch some more daytime tv lol! hope to post from home next time.

love & peace x

Tuesday 8 February 2011


okay chemo sucks! I'm am not one of the lucky few that go through firs chemo like a breeze! it is awful and heavy!

the first evening i felt so ill, i was as white as a sheet and just crawled up in a ball when i got home
the weekend was better! much better! i could eat quite normally but then i was still on heavy meds against the nausea, Emend is a goooood drug lol!
but after 2 days of meds that was it, i became so ill, i couldn't hold anything down, no food, no drinks, i felt so sick and exhausted and ended up spending half a day in hospital on Wednesday trying to get some fluids in me and getting a miracle shot of Litican.
i kept taking Litican in tablets for the next day or two and slowly i was able to eat again.

i had a wonderful weekend with my daughter Debby, she came home for the weekend. We even went into the city to a Goth shop lol, totally her scene, we had a fun time together.
Sunday i wasn't feeling my usual self, muscle aches and splitting headache and just so tired but i stayed up until Debby left and then went straight for a nap. woke up shivering and damn i had a fever and i am not supposed to have fevers so off to emergancy i had to go and yeah they kept me in hospital.
thank goodness for wireless in the hospital because i'm still here!!
my white blood cell count is too low, my platelets are too low and i have an infection they cannot localize, still getting high temperatures and my blood pressure is way too low.

Chemo was just too heavy for my body and is kicking my butt! but the doctors are thinking up all things possible to make the next round easier on me.

i'm bored stiff in hospital! no visitors allowed besides family, but not the kiddies so i skype with them and they enjoy that. private room for fear of infection so nobody to talk to... pfff days are long and daytime tv sucks!!!

well anyway, waiting for my white blood cell count to go up up up!!! and fever to stay away for at least 48 hours and then i can go home! sadly my temperature is still too high at the moment so it kind of sucks!!!

and then.... next week back to chemo with hopefully more meds against the side effects of the poison!

1 down 5 to go! i just hope they all don't put me in hospital cos the journey is already a long one and it is really hard organizing everything with the kids.

oh and my hair is shaved, Debby did it for me so now i won't have to go through seeing it drop out.
well it is already droppin out but it doesn't feel so bad because my hair is only 1mm long now :)

right almost lunchtime here! that'll be an adventure again!!! i know hospital food is not like home cooking but damn it's bad! asa vegeterian i have a choice of 2 diff burgers, honest to god you could kill someone with them, they are so hard and dry. soup has beef or chicken stock in it so not for me either! i have actually got my own cup a soups with me and a tiny kettle and my son brings me home made bread so at least i get something to eat.
doesn't feel like the right place to get my strength back! when i was in here for my back surgery i lost 4,5kg, with my mastectomy i lost 3kg in 4 days so i wonder how much it'll be this time!

ok, my tray arrived lol i have to go

love & peace