Ranger educator

Thursday 10 March 2011

nearly halfway

tomorrow i have my 3rd chemo, yeah i know, i never blogged about the 2nd one, for one it hit me pretty hard the first few days and i slept almost 80% of my time just not to have to deal with it cause i really wanted to die o be honest! Chemo is pure poison and you can feel it taking over your body, pretty scary.

anyway, towmorrow i reach the halfway mark for he chemo, i never thought i would get this far, i wanted to give up after the first but no matter how i feel i really haven' got a choice, i need to go through the treatment if i want to have a chance to see my kids grow up.

you would thing i'm going through enough already, well my ex-husband doesn't seem to think so!

I booked a weekend away with all five of the kids for my youngest daughter's 8th birthday, i miscalculated the weekends for them going to their dad so i ended up booking for one of his weekends, i didn't do it to bug him, it was an honest chemo brain mistake; I asked him if we could exchange weekends so we could go but hell no! he doesn't want to; my daughter is hearbroken over it and i am totally p'ed off with him, he is doing it to get to me but at the same time he is hurting the kids but he doesn't see that.

i hae now had to cancel the booking, paying half of the cost of the weekend as fee and then booked a weekend earlier and paying the full amount again. it sucks! now it is a verrrry expensive weekend Sunparks but hey what can i do?

ok, not much to talk about, my life is not that exciting at the moment!
wish me luck for tomorrow's chem
xx love & peace , tanya